Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The end of a difficult year(s)... and a hopeful beginning.

2011 was a difficult year.

Actually so was 2010, and 2009.... and the last two months of 2008.

In November of 2008 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. The dictionary says "a syndrome characterized by fatigue and chronic pain in the muscles and in tissues surrounding the joints."  That doesn't even come close to explaining it.  It hurts... every day.  Sometimes it feels like my hands are on fire and there's no way to make it go away, sometimes it feels like there's electrical shocks going through the muscles in my back, sometimes my muscles spasm so hard in my chest I feel like I'm going to suffocate.  Physically, it hurts.

Emotionally it kicks my ass.  On a daily basis I wonder if the things that I do will end up causing me to be in more pain the next day because I over did it.  It makes me angry that I'm 23 years old and I can expect to live with this for the rest of my life.  It makes me sad that I feel like I'm not normal.  It scares me that the people that I love and care about will get burnt out and not want to be there for me anymore.  It sucks.

I am vowing to make 2012 the year where Fibromyalgia does NOT control my life.  I don't really know exactly how I'm going to do this but I'm going to try.  Your ideas and suggestions are more than welcome and your support will be much appreciated. 

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